President Burns?

On an well known episode of The Simpsons, Mr. Burns concocted an evil plot to force Springfield to rely on his power plant more heavily for energy. This was to be accomplished by a giant arm with a plate attached to it that would block out the rays of the sun, forcing an eternal darkness on the denizens of Springfield.

Now, in something that seems straight out of The Onion, it appears that the US is asking the scientific community to pay for the US's continuing crimes against the environment by enacting just such a plan. The article states that the plan for this to be accomplished includes such potential 'work-arounds' as large solar mirrors, and scattering reflective particulate throughout the atmosphere.

The truth is stranger than fiction, indeed.

I don't know about all of you, but a while back, when Craigslist was running it's "transmit into space" concept, I signed a couple of ads up for that. I hope that these don't become my (and the human race's) legacy. In fact, I don't suppose there's anyway that they could beam me into space, eh? Just give me Discovery, some supplies, and I'll take my chances out there if this is the way we want to go.

Layeth the Smack Down (on Your Own Guy?)

Face it, nation. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are the two candidates by far most likely to win the Democratic national primary. Hell, they might even make one another running mates for the election (almost guaranteed to sink them in the general election ::cough South cough::, but eh). Either way though, the Democrats might finally have the message down, and that is that unlike the Republicans (See McCain smear, North Carolina, 2004), you don't smear your own guys. Win the Primaries on your own merits, because you never know when those lies might come to bite the guy if he wins the Primary, and make your whole team lose the game.

Or do they?

According to the Washington Post, some of Senator Hillary Clinton's own people are rumored to have spread vicious lies about Illinois' Sen. Barack Obama. Specifically, the rumors (read: lies) state that Obama had attended a madrassa, an extremely fundamental Muslim school in his time in Indonesia. In fact, his school was a public school that "doesn't focus on religion."

Clinton's office has denied it (which, true or not, they're obviously going to). For one, I'll bite on Clinton's denial. I think she's smarter than that, and wouldn't have anyone in her group so obviously stupid. If she did though, I'll be the first one to throw this at her, and she'll certainly lose my vote over it (unless she's the Democratic winner, cause there's no way in hell I'm voting for Brownback).

So if she didn't do it, who else did? Simple.

Republican scum. Cue the Imperial March theme.

The Republicans (no doubt with help from Karl Rove, once again), are already launching their smear campaign, a full two years before the general elections. Why? Simple, once again. They're scared. They're really scared of Barack Obama. Why? Because he's black? No. (Well, maybe that plays into it, but that's not the real reason.)

Barack Obama has clout. He has a name. He has some serious staying power in Washington. He's young and in tune with his voters, and they're scared shitless about him. They know that they can take down Hillary (or at least they're pretty damned sure). But Obama? Well, they need to worry about him.

The Republicans know that the only way they can nail him is to make troubling allegations. Not big ones. Not just one. They know from experience (Clinton, the former) that those tricks don't work anymore. They learned from John Kerry that if they make lots of little chinks in the armor, it will eventually crack.

What are these chinks made up of? Name calling, disturbing rhymes, insinuations, and flat out lies.

Well, Republican scum, I've got news for you. You call yourselves Christians. LIARS!!!

The truth is that no Christian would make such bold-faced lies about another man, particularly when that man is a good one. Need a reminder? How 'bout them Ten Commandments ya'll (note the finger pointing at the South) hold to so dearly? Remember this one: "You shall not bear false witness"? Apparently not:

Stephen Colbert vs. Congressman Lynn Westmoreland


So, Republicans lied about being Christians. If they'll lie about that, what can you really trust them on?

Space is Ours, Dammit! Don't You See the Flag on the Moon?

Oh jeez... If they're anything like the Native Americans, the Martians are gonna be PISSED!

ABC News is reporting that in addition to planning manned (and knowing Bush, armed) missions to the Moon and Mars, Bush has now amended US Space Policy "asserting the United States' right to deny adversaries access to space for hostile purposes."

Well, I guess it's good to know that the World Police are secure in their confidence of being the only ones responsible enough to safely put weapons and spy satellites in space.

Don't get me wrong. I think we need these assets. I also think that anyone putting their own stuff in space should be monitored, and even stopped depending on the circumstances. To be honest though, all's fair in love and war, right?

How are we allowed to have them when they're not?

I guess this is just more of the same Bushland hypocrisy.

Bush Bumper Stickers

Stolen from Iggy who stole it from Sharon:

I put the best ones (IMHO) in bold.

Bush Bumper Stickers, And one quote, making the email rounds:

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1/20/09: End of an Error

That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore

America: One Nation, Under Surveillance

They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It

Who's God Do You Kill For?

Cheney/Satan '08

Jail to the Chief

No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?

Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap

Bad President! No Banana!

We Need a President Who' s Fluent In At Least One Language

We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

Is It Vietnam Yet?

Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either

Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.

Impeach Cheney First

Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too

Pray For Impeachment

The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You Understand?

One Nation Under Clod

2004: Embarrassed
2005: Horrified
2006: Terrified

Bush Never Exhaled

At Least Nixon Resigned

And one last one I saw in person:
Republicans for Voldemort

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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, moreand more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great andglorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart'sdesire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downrightmoron." - H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

Who Needs Ethics?

It's really very simple; Congress needs ethics. Not surprisingly, the Republicans are already up in arms about this, and upset over the fact that they are "being watched." I guess that prisoners also have the right to be upset that they are being incarcerated because of crimes they committed.

From The Guardian:

Sen. Trent Lott, R-Miss., warned his colleagues to be careful of overreacting and ``feckless positioning to make it look good.'' He said he was ``offended that somebody says that for the price of a meal I can be had by a lobbyist or anyone else.''

Well, Trent, let's assume for a moment that you're actually telling the truth (don't worry readers, I won't make that mistake very often), and you can't be bought for the price of a meal. What about for the price of airplane tickets to anywhere in the world in more than first class, in fact, in a private chartered corporate jet? What about for good tickets to your favorite team?

Still not, you say? Well, what if you were having weekly or even daily dinners with these people? Regular flights everywhere you needed to go in unparalleled luxury? Season tickets?

Even if you can say, with complete honesty, sir, that you would not sell out even for all this, it is well documented that a number of your coworkers could and did. Who are you to say, assuming again that you are being truthful, that these very same people would not again reek with the foul stench of corruption? Bah unto you, sir!

The UK Opens Ministry of Truth

According to BBC Radio, the UK's MI5 is now offering Britons the chance to sign up for e-mail alerts regarding the terror threat level and "wants to do the same with text messages too."

Are these guys serious? I mean, honestly, at this point, they must know that the majority of their populous is completely disregarding these alerts, and the rest are less than conscious of it. WAIT! I've got it...

They think that by making it an ever-present reminder (via mobile e-mail), people will be constantly reminded and conscious of it, and it will seed the panic that they're hoping for.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being cynical?